Name: Kenchi618

Age: 20

Height: 6'2

Weight: Walks Around At 195 pounds (Fights at Middleweight, 185 pounds, or Light-Heavyweight, 205 pounds)

Favorite Bands/Musicians: Eminem (from 1999 to 2004), Atmosphere, Weezer, Cypress Hill, Mobb Deep, Guns n' Roses (Original Line-up), The Lonely Island, I Fight Dragons, Beastie Boys, The Bloodhound Gang (Their songs are fucking hilarious)

Race: African American (A.K.A: Black Guy)

Occupation: College Student/ Mixed Martial Arts Fighter

Major: Communications/Media Studies with a focus in Production Technology

Hobbies: Playing Video Games (PS3 all day), Training/Sparring, Sleeping, Writing/Reading Fanfiction

Location: 612 Wharf Avenue

Note To Readers: I do not dig Yaoi in any way. This is because I am a man's man. I say this because I have been told repeatedly and explicitly that I am in no way a ladies' man. Naruto is my favorite manga with Bleach coming in second and One Piece bringing up the third.

If you have something to add to anything I write, feel free to state such. How am I to get any better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong? It's a work in progress, my ability to spin a decent yarn, and to grow I must be willing to learn.

Fighting Style: Muay Thai Kickboxing/Boxing/Freestyle Wrestling/Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

Personal Hero: Forrest Griffin (He's just a former cop that learned how to fight in college and now he makes bank in the UFC. That is some inspirational stuff. it motivates me, that and he's cool as all hell.)

Information: I am what I like to call, an arch-bastard. You either like me or you don't know me since if you dislike me I'll either leave you alone and we'll never speak again, or you'll push my buttons until I provoke you to take a swing at me, at which time I will proceed to stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry.

I'm not a funny character, I just use a lot of dry wit and sarcasm in my regular speech and am prone to using big vocabulary words that you probably learned in high-school for a test and then forgot. Hey, I learned it so why not actually use it in real life?

Random Thoughts From Me:

- To anyone that actually cares or possesses one, I have a PS3 and my PSN name is the exact same as my name here, so... yeah.

- I cannot for the life of me remember what the fuck inspired me to first start reading this stuff in November of 2009, but I do remember why I first started writing. Because I read stuff that made me say, "I can do something just as good as that or better." And two months of saying that made me realize I needed to stop talking shit and actually put up or shut up. One entire year later I have a story with 3000 reviews and two more on the cusp of breaking 1000. Because I'm Kenchi Strife and I'm AWESOME!!!! (I'm not really that awesome, I am just incredibly productive and have flashes of arrogance and brilliance... sometimes at the same time.)

- Whenever most people get asked, "What bloodline from Naruto would you want if you could have it?" Most people would say Sharingan, or Rinnengan, or Shikotsumyaku (My second choice actually). But if I had to choose I would pick the Byakugan. This stems from my own personal fear, I fear nothing physical, it's more of a theoretical fear; things that I cannot see. This goes as far as me looking around randomly while in the midst of doing nothing, even in my own house. I hate, hate, hate, FUCKING HATE not being able to see things coming, I fucking hate the fact that I can only see in a 45 degree radius, I hate everything that is behind me and out of my field of vision, everything, with no exceptions. If I was given the option to get three punches in the face that I could see coming or one punch to the stomach blindfolded I would take the punches to the face. I don't care what it is, seeing things unfold in front of me, even if it's something that is going to hurt me allows me to calm myself by thinking logically, letting me run mental damage control and work out split-second solutions or at the very least brace for consequences, I even hate surprises. Thus why I would take the Byakugan. Seeing near 360 degrees and being able to basically see stuff from far away and through things would take the fear from me.

- Why do I always see people that complain about texting fucking text themselves?

- I hate Facebook or any other social networking device. If you're all like, "But Kenchi! It helps me meet people, and know so many hot girls on Facebook!" then I would say that you don't know them since you've never actually stood in front of them and had a conversation where the words 'lol' didn't fucking come up. I don't use Facebook as a fucking social crutch, I actually go out and meet friends of my friends and make them my friends, thus opening the door for more friends that I talk to and form my own social network, only it's with people that I actually have a good chance of seeing in person on a regular basis. Yeah, I know hot women too, and I actually know that I can tolerate their personalities and that they are receptive to flirting because I've held actual conversations with them and know them, thus when I earn the opportunity to see them with less than 100% of their clothing on I feel like I've done more than click a mouse to see their pictures on a web page. If I want to see that on a computer screen I'll just skip the middleman and look at porn.

- Does anyone else think that Shao Kahn and Motaro from Mortal Kombat 3 were the most pain in the ass boss fights in video games? Because I still think about that shit all the time. 5 credits my ass...

- The almond is the greatest brand of nut ever mass distributed for human consumption.

- Why do bees always like to hover around the thing outside that you desperately need to pick up and use for just a second?

- Yelling "Psycho Crusher" or "Sonic Boom" after doing anything in your life makes it 10 times better.
ex. "Who wants chips? SONIC BOOM!" or "Give me my keys, I need to move my car. PSYCHO CRUSHER!!!"

- Neil Patrick Harris had the best role ever given to any human being on Earth when he had his parts in the Harold and Kumar movies. He was paid to be a random name of tall order from the past and ended up looking totally badass in the first movie. There was no logical reason for Doogie fucking Houser to look so awesome and yet he did.

- The dropkick is the most entertaining form of attack known to regular people. Say that you see someone do a dropkick in real life and you weren't laughing your ass off after it happens. If you do then you are lying to yourself and to me. No matter what the target you find yourself laughing at it; a door, a porta-potty, a person... just as long as the person isn't you, then it's not funny anymore.

- It has been scientifically tested and proven by others that when you pour beer or some other form of liquid on my face I will immediately wake up and place you in some form of Triangle Choke until you pass out. Fact.

- I have respect for Vanilla Ice for multiple reasons. First of all he was a white rapper that actually had a number one hit back when having a hit in hip-hop actually meant something.

Second of all I defy you to put on "Ice Ice Baby" right now and not have some kind of positive physical reaction to listening to it because regardless of whatever misgivings you may have even in 2010 that shit still cranks, now that is staying power.

Third of all, and probably most important, people still know who this guy is, 20 years after the fact! Whenever any white rapper comes out he is always compared to two rappers; Eminem and Vanilla 'fucking' Ice. Now granted it is usually at opposite ends of the spectrum, but all I can say is that the man did more than I've ever done in my life.

-...My name is Kenchi618 an I have an addiction. I am addicted to fanfiction *cries softly*. I started reading this shit in November of 2009 and now I come to this site every damn day. And just like an addiction I have to read something everyday or I get seriously cranky. It utterly pisses me off when nothing is posted that entertains me in one, two, three days. So much so that I have to write my own shit to calm myself down. For those of you aware of my usual update speed this is why; because when there's nothing to read, I write so maybe I can inspire someone to get off of their ass (or on their ass in this case) and write something that tickles my soul. It has been failing miserably thus far... The fact that people actually like what I do is a complete by-product of this addiction, but I ain't complaining.

- I AM AWESOME!!! As of December 5th, 2010 I have achieved eternal greatness! In a submission grappling contest I defeated a state-level wrestler... BLINDFOLDED! As in no vision... as in sans visual orbs, i.e. my eyes. GET ON MY LEVEL!!!! God that was the greatest 5 bucks I've ever won off of anyone ever!

- Let me specify this immediately: I DO NOT hate the Sasuke Uchiha character. Actually that is false. I hate him now. I didn't when the Naruto series started. When the series started Sasuke proved worth to me as a bad-ass anti-hero. He had a cool attitude, his dialogue didn't suck, he had a hell of a backstory, he had his moments of pure win, and he was never placed as seeming more important than the main character himself. He was cool. And he remained cool right up until he defected... actually he was still cool to me when he defected. I loved the concept, abso-fucking-lutely I did.

No, he stayed cool. He stayed cool upon his reintroduction, he stayed cool when he toasted Orochimaru's sick and dying ass and then bitched out Kabuto, he stayed cool when he got his own team (which had Suigetsu in it who is super fucking cool), he stayed cool when he beat Deidara's ass, and he stayed cool while he was fighting Itachi, and that fight was pretty much the epitome of bad-ass. And then Kishimoto took his character which had bordered on the slippery slope of emo-cutter status since his inception and pushed his ass down that cliff in a goddamn wheelbarrow. Now he's whiny, sounds like he's going to cry crocodile tears everytime he brings up Itachi or how his clan was wronged and blah, blah, blah (He's working with Madara. Wouldn't common deduction skills point towards him trying to gut Madara like a trout since he was the one that kind of started it?), and he gets a power-up every five chapters (I'm probably exaggerating but you get the point) that each seem like the equivalent of Naruto's Sage Mode which was the only power-up he received for like 50 chapters at one point. So yeah, don't blame Sasuke for being the reason you hate him, blame Kishimoto. He made the number two guy in the series, a guy who was actually really cool, a total tool.

...and the dialogue he constantly gives Naruto about Sasuke when the topic comes up is simply adding fuel to the fire for the yaoi writers which does not help his case of me being annoyed by any stretch of the imagination.

- The Metal Gear video game series by Hideo Kojima is the absolute best series of video games in the world. Period. If you disagree with me I don't need to meet you or even know your name or face, because if I did I would challenge you to a street fight with taped fists covered in glue and dipped in broken glass, because I want to destroy you. As a man there has been only one time that I have ever been moved to tears, and I have no problems saying this because I am more than confident enough in my own masculinity to admit this...

After playing all of the games, from Metal Gear to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater in order, back to back, and beating them all, I played Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots from start to finish and by the time the final credits hit I was physically holding back tears because the story and the gameplay was so awesome. That's some intense shit right there. And they were manly tears... the manliest... Anyway, I think you get the point by now.

- Do not take yourself too seriously. There are billions of people in the world. If 200 people think you suck then that's no big deal... of course if they all come out, can get into contact with you, and say it at the exact same time about the exact same thing then there might be a problem there. Looking into the reason for that might not be such a bad idea.

- Getting shot is not that bad from personal experience (at least by a 9mm). I mean, after the first five minutes as long as it isn't fatal because the guy who did it can't aim for shit you don't even care anymore. One shot through the side of my torso and then one through my knee had me sitting outside of a friend's house by myself for 30 minutes waiting on an ambulance... and I was more bored than in agony. Now I've got cool scars and an asinine story to tell for the rest of my life. All it took was one weird guy shooting me because I jumped his fence to get a basketball back. Fair trade.

- After thinking about this legitimately for the last hour I can with confidence say that every single relevant sport that has ever been created is a substitute for fighting.

My reasons for believing such: Athleticism is originally measured by the physical abilities of a person... physical abilities that are also used to measure how well a person would survive... fighting was originally done to survive and for no other reason.

Another reason: Whenever good atheletes go immediately for the victory at the first opportunity it is called killer instinct... killer instinct. Huh.

Yet ANOTHER reason: One of the top 3 most popular sports in the U.S. is american football... a game where by definition 250 pound grown adults more or less run into each other as hard as they can in an effort to throw one particular poor bastard to the ground.

I could keep going for another five paragraphs but I'll leave it with one more point. When tensions rise and the testosterone flows in any of these sports (even NASCAR dude) how is anything settled between particular participants? Trying to outdo the person on the court, field, or whatever isn't enough. Victory is not enough... No, they have to fight because they're pissed.

Fighting is a legal and recognized part of hockey... and how many people get headbutted in faceoffs between rival players in soccer yearly?

...and MMA isn't legalized in the state of New York...

sigh*

- MXC (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge), an old show that used to be on Spike TV, is one of the greatest shows that I have ever seen in my entire life. I wish it still came on, even if they're just reruns. I've never consistently laughed so hard on a show-to-show basis watching anything else in my life, period.

Bring back Kenny and Vic. MXC for life.

- Every time I meet a new person I figure out how I'm going to fight them. That's weird right? I know it can't be normal.

- I don't have any shame apparently. I figured that out last Saturday night. It turns out that where my shame gland should be there is only a gland that produces more awesome. It turns out that this is my secondary awesome gland where most people only have one.

This explains everything!!!