Name: ChocolateRedVelvet - my two favorite cake flavors.

Age: Old enough to drink in the United States.

Sex: Femme Fatale

Interests: Books in general. I love stories and don't care if the characters are gay, straight, bisexual or transgender. I'm only interested in well written tales.

Favorite Authors:
Joey W. Hill - Erotic Romance Writer - I adore the way she shows emotion and the depth of her characters. Also, her stuff is pretty hot!
Saskia Walker - Erotic Romance Writer - Every sentence reads like poetry.
Brent Weeks - Fantasy Author and Sam Barone - Fictional History - Both have built kick ass worlds with great characters.

Least Favorite Author: Kishimoto - He created a great alternative universe and filled it with weak, unrealistic characters that make absolutely no sense. Oh, and the plot is pretty shitty too!

On Warmth of a Cold Touch: Characters: The two main characters are Naruto and Haku (boy-Haku). I am seriously considering adding Kimmimaro to the group to make a trio. He is not a definite add. It's all about how the story goes. *shrugs* I'm just the writer. Fanfiction

Pet Peeves:
1. Overused Couples: I'll read anything whether m/f, m/m, or f/f, so I have no problem with most couples. My issue is that about 90% of the Naruto fan fiction around pairs Naruto with either Sasuke or Hinata. And why is Harry Potter almost always paired with Ginny, Hermoine, Draco or Severus? Seriously? Whether your writing yaoi or straight fiction, think outside the box. There are only so many times someone can read about the same couple. Considering that there are literally hundreds of thousands of Naruto and Harry Potter fanfics on this site many people have already reached their Sasunaru or Naruhina quota and I'm one of them. For the love of God pair him with someone else. At this point I'll read a Madara/Naruto fic before I'll read a Naruhina or Sasunaru one. (Actually Madara/Naruto sounds kinda cool, especially if Madara is gray or dare I say one of the "good guys".)

2. NaruHina: Hinata as a character bothers me so pairing her with Naruto makes me grit my teeth, roll my eyes, and close the window on a fic. No second chances. Hell, there are some fics I've loved until Hinata came on screen. Why do I dislike this couple so much?
1. Hinata never speaks to Naruto. Realistically, their relationship would never get off the ground. She can't talk to him without stuttering and fainting. Some fics take it to the point where she faints once every chapter. The foundation of a successful relationship is great communicate. Seriously, how well are they going to communicate when the girl can't say a word to him without passing out?
2. She stalks him and never says or does anything to make his life better. I know she gave him the goggles but she never does anything concrete to make Naruto's life better. If you really loved someone you would do everything in your power to make them happy. Hell, if you're infatuated with someone you do that. Yet, I've read fics (also canon alludes to this) where Hinata follows Naruto around for years and yet she can't even speak to him, be his friend, or speak up for him. Naruto is the loneliest person in all the elemental countries when the series starts and yet she can't get up the courage to befriend him. Another things is that so many writers give her a spine when she and Naruto start dating and that bothers me. Why should Hinata start speaking against those who ostracize Naruto only after she starts dating him? If she really cared about him it wouldn't matter if he was hers or not.
3. She has all the resources Naruto never had and she is still so weak. Sakura was considered to be the strongest girl in their academy year. Ino came in second after her. This means Hinata was weaker than Sakura, who's only claim to fame was her ability to memorize information and good chakra control, and Ino, who really had nothing going for her. Come on! 1) She's part of the Hyuuga clan, which, judging by the Uchiha clan before Itachi got through with them, has to have hundreds of people. That is a large family, more than orphan Naruto has. 2) She's part of the Main Branch. She is practically royalty in the village. The only ones who come close to her social standing are Tsunade and Sasuke, both who are physically strong. 3) She has an immediate family. Even if you ignore the clan thing, which is hard to do, Hinata has a father and younger sister. Naruto has no one and look at what he accomplishes. What the fuck is her excuse? As a clan member, who is part of the main branch and destined heir, there must be a lot of people willing to train her, a lot of scrolls she could have studied from, and all kinds of shit she could have done to get a leg up on the competition and yet she lost to Sakura, a girl from a clanless civilian family. Her father was stern and cold and Neji hated her, I get that, but neither was in the academy. If she excelled there, her father would have lightened up and though Neji would have hated her, he wouldn't think of her as a failure. 4. She's a coward. She barely speaks to Naruto the whole time she's known him, but when she's dying she tells him she loves him. If she had any courage whatsoever she would have asked Naruto out when he returned from his trip.

3. Sex Change Characters: I don't know if its because 1) I'm a woman and almost all of the characters are guys who become female, 2) I know people who have undergone the sex change procedure, or 3) Because I have a close friend who is considering going through the procedure, but when writers change the sex of the character it bothers me, at least most of the time. I mean really what's the point of giving Naruto a vagina, having him be the same exact person down to the orange jumpsuit and then putting him in a relationship with Sasuke, who is still a jerk who calls him a dobe? I say "most of the time" because I have read at least two fics where the sex change wasn't gratuitous. There was a reason why the character, Naruto in this case wasn't a boy. It wasn't because the writer wanted to pair Naruto up with Itachi and didn't want to write a gay story. Honestly, if you change your hero/herione's sex in order to pair them with someone of the (originally) same sex, you should rethink either your couple or your plot. With the number of people populating the Naruto universe there is no need to change one person's sex. It's not like there is one girl and fifty boys in the series. Pick someone else! 4. Harem Fics: I have no problem with harems as a concept. It would be hypocritical of me if I did. I'm the granddaughter of a man who until he died had four wives. My grandmother is wife number four and my mother is one of twenty four kids. I know what a large, polygamous family is like. My culture allows it and if you've got enough money, promotes it. That being said, my problem with harem fics is how unrealistic a large number of them are. I'm part of a community where a man having multiple wives is fairly normal, even in this day and age, and yet I have no intention of being anything but my husband's one and only wife. Why? Because being anything else sucks! Plain and simple. My mom and grandmother have told me horror stories of what things were like growing up in their household and it wasn't pretty. My grandfather was a kind man who tried his hardest to treat his wives equally well and there were still problems that to this day effect the family. If you're going to write such a fic make it realistic. That is not to say that co-wives or husbands can't get along, but there is going to be some conflict. Don't sweep it under the rug and pretend that every female/male wants the hero/heroine and is totally willing to share and has no concerns.

5. Unrealistic Characters and Relationships: Canon Naruto sucks. The characters don't make any sense, the plot is formulaic and juvenile. So you want to change things. Go ahead! Readers will love you for it if you do it well. Don't claim your Sarutobi is smart and militaristic and then have him listen to a council that includes fucking civilians. That's bullshit! On the romance side: In order to put two characters together a writer might have to make one or both a little OOC. That's fine with me. Hell, even a lot OOC is fine. The canon characters aren't really realistic so adding more depth or altering their attitudes seems like a good thing to me. However, that means any attitude changes should follow through the whole story. If Sakura is Naruto's friend or lover, she should not be hitting him every time he says something she doesn't want to hear. That's a fucking abusive relationship, not a romantic one. Why is it that authors who claim to be writing romance have scenes where Naruto is called stupid or dead-last repeatedly by his lover. Dobe is not a pet name. That's like a guy calling me bitch as a pet name because I'm assertive. WTF? That would never fly in real life. Why should it it fiction? If you're a writer who's fiction hasn't committed any of the aforementioned "crimes" let me know. It's so hard to find good fictions, especially lately. SUPER thanks to BlueBabyBlanket for the review and the tip on updating on fanfiction. net.