drivven

I have been Yaoi Fan-Fiction writer since 2007. My main genre is Naruto. I am have a few stories in other genres and I am working on some originals. If I ever get them finished I will post those monsters.

I can also be found on Archive of our Own AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/users/DrivvenWrinth/pseuds/DrivvenWrinth

The Me I See

I am not the me I used to see
The mirror shows another me
I used to dream, think, and create
Now all I seem to do is hate
Hate the loss of joy and time
I try to lie and say it's fine
Others don't really see
They see a cranky stupid me
I was smart with strong memory
I wrote prose and fantasy
The disorientation, confusion, and pain
Have caused all of that to wane
I sit here and stare at the screen
All I can do is cry and scream
The silent shriek could rend the ground
No cure or relief has been found
I won't give up, I am not alone
There are many I've been shone
We endure and try
We rise and fall and cry
We stand again and struggle on
Until our fight can be won
I hope, I dream, I want to be
The me I used to see

I am a severe debilitating chronic migraine sufferer. It has increased over the last few years to the point of disrupting my entire life, especially my writing. I am hoping that I my health will be improving under the new treatment. My stories aren't dead. I very much want to get them finished and write new ones. 

I finally reached out to a support group and am staring to accept that this is my life and denial, depression, and self recrimination have only made things worse. I am trying to move forward. I wrote  this poem today and believe that this is a step in that direction.